rhetoricpig

Who'sa bammer?

2006-07-15T17:26:00.000-07:00

A comic book, Bear #1 http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0ZZDWO9M
Yep.
And here's a tune: Too Short - Burn Rubber mixed by B. Cause & Ross Hogg http://www.megaupload.com/?d=9RFH7P68

Here's a link to download the comic book reader I use. Here's the site.

I'm unwilling to pop and lock some rhetoric for ya' this moment.

I'm probably playing here right now.

Portents are good.

2006-07-15T00:27:00.000-07:00

I may be back.

2006-07-04T22:19:00.000-07:00

Rhetoricpig the blog is defunct but...

The fact that you are requesting one of the best dance songs ever caught my fancy, so here...

Sleeze Brothers Robocop Instrumental - http://rapidshare.de/files/24976376/robocop_instrumental.mp3.html

Sleeze Bothers Robocop - http://rapidshare.de/files/24976558/robocop.mp3.html

West Coast Crew Jailbait - http://rapidshare.de/files/24976730/jail_bait.mp3.html

Rodney O & Joe Cooley Let's Have Some Fun - http://rapidshare.de/files/24977467/let_s_have_some_fun.mp3.html

Rodney O & Joe Cooley Cooley High - http://rapidshare.de/files/24977343/cooley_high.mp3.html

LeJuan Love My Harcore Rhymes - http://rapidshare.de/files/24977641/my_hardcore_rhymes.mp3.html

LeJuan Love Everybody Say Yeah - http://rapidshare.de/files/24977159/everybody_say_yeah.mp3.html

The Lover II Terminator Radio Edit - http://rapidshare.de/files/24977782/terminator_radio_edit.mp3

The Lover II Terminator Pain Mix - http://rapidshare.de/files/24977979/terminator_pain_mix.mp3

Let me know what you think.
Or if you want more :)
Dylan - dylanmiller@yahoo.com

Why I am not a revolutionary.

2005-07-28T19:09:00.000-07:00

My head is full of blood. I am fast becoming a fan of the French Revolution.

(CHOP) Next! (CHOP) Next! (CHOP) Next! (CHOP)

Oops, that's a bit sterile, imagine much poking and jeering and hopefully some trembling, prolapsing, and succinct psychological needling.

Overheard conversation:

This is shit! The slavin' business is done, what with all these laws and whiners!

I need a new line... now. Any ideas?

Yea. I know we have a number of ins with the navy at this table, howzabout this... now listen. With the help of them navy boys and their little boats we force our way into Chinese harbors, set up some factories inland, man'em with some little yellow slaves and then ship the shit to England and make a killing. Huh?

Make what? Ship what?

Opium.

Who cares? Only that the 'killing' thus made supplied the funds for quite a few ventures. A number of prominent universities; Columbia, Princeton, Yale. A couple companies ya' might've heard of; Bell Telephone and United Fruit Company, I like Hawaii. And some presidents; FDR and the Bushes to name a few.

If the money was in fresh pre-pubescent pituitary glands they'd be farming kids and not pumping oil.
(CHOP)
Info about Bin Laden heroin here.
mp3-Puff the Magic Dragon - Peter, Paul and Mary (so slow)

Howdy, Sis Cow,

2005-07-25T10:21:00.000-07:00

W'y, howdy, Brer Rabbit,
How you find yo'se'f deze days, Sis Cow?
I'm sorter toler'ble, Brer Rabbit, how you come on?
Oh, I'm des toler'ble myse'f, Sis Cow; sorter lingerin' twix' a bauk en a breakdown.

Rhetoricpig is like these lords of sky and cloud,
Who ride the storm and mock the bow's taut strings,
Exiled on earth amid a jeering crowd,
Prisoned and palsied by his giant wings.

I'm definitely palsied at times. 'Tanks Baudelaire's Albatrossess and his effort...

To make the world less hideous and Time less grim.

Jorge Luis Borges published El Libro de Arena in 1971. Translated as The Book of Sand , Borges details the beautiful abomination known as The Sect of the Thirty.

The intentional actors were only two - the Redeemer and Judas. The latter cast down the thirty pieces of silver that were the price of Salvation and went and hanged himself. At the time, like the Son of Man, he was thirty-three years old. The sect worships them equally and absolves all the others. There is no one culprit. Everyone, unwitting or not, is an agent in the scheme laid down by Divine Wisdom. All of them now share the Glory.

More Borges.

I write for myself and for my friends, and I write to ease the passing of time.

Or as MilliVanilli said:

Blame it on the rain. Ya' gotta blame it on something.

Yes. I'm a fan.

Damn this is tiny. A bit of Flor Silvestre, director Emilio Fernandez, cinematogapher Gabriel Figueroa, 1943. site

Look what I found.

2005-07-23T17:00:00.000-07:00

I found this in a bargain pile at my fave bookshop. The title is On Assassination, author H. H. A. Cooper, isbn 0-87364-290-2. With chapter titles like Methods and Means, Natural Death by Unnatural Means, and Facing the Assassin's Challenge, the book is interesting in its own right. But the inscription is special. In black ink is written, I quote:

6-19-94
DEAR MIKE-
AN INVESTMENT IN yOUR CAREER,
A PLEASURABLE DIVERTISSEMENT,
A BELATED BIRTHDAy GIFT-
ALL THESE IN ONE SMALL VOLUME-
yOU GOTTA LOVE IT-
O.J. SIMPSON

Interesting, no? I also found an unpublished and unfinished post. Here goes:

Title: G'day.
Mp3s-David Rovics- Tsunami, Falluja and After We Torture Our Prisoners, site

Y'like empathy, ay? I have a hard enough time with my own pain. Let alone that of the clubbed seals, mutilated prepubescent imprisoned prostitutes, gang-pressed African children forced to kill their own parents, or babies born without faces, let alone your every-minute rape, incest, or mouthful of broken teeth.

Let's finish that unfinished post. ...of broken teeth. And they lived happily ever after. That sucks. How about this. ...of broken teeth. And broken hearts. The dawn spreads its light like a broken yolk. Hunh?! Okay, here: ...of broken teeth. I'm so sorry, where'd I leave my comedy?
Yea, where?

As Philip Wylie says in Generation of Vipers, for want of self-reflection, revolution, and improvement how about...

One last danse macabre-with the machine, man, and man a prostitute of the embracing steel?

I agree. But not for me and mine. For them love and honesty.

This pig's head is full of hate. Somebody please, set me straight.

2005-07-23T10:50:00.000-07:00

Bin Laden - Immortal Technique and Mos Def, produced by Green Lantern. site

Hey, long time no poke with a stick.

Uranium.

US military prisons are manned by National Guard whose civilian job is guarding US prisoners. Coincidence? No, that's the the fuckin' reason for a lot of what goes on. Hang a man by his arms and spend days having the squad turn his lower half into a bag of mush. WITH PUNCHES. He died of an embolism. He was a cabbie.

Uranium. Shit, I look to the future and little piglets and wonder if Los Angeles is 'clean' enough for breeding.

Okay, so there's some outrage that my more traditionally left readers might share. Now for the glue. Let's start slow.

JFK's joint chiefs of staff unanimously signed off on Operation Northwoods. Hijack US airliners, blow up buildings, snipe pedestrians, blame Cuba. And while JFK really liked big, long nukes, he wasn't down with the false-flags.
JFK assassination, pshaw that's just royal court intrigue.

I sicken myself. I reel and feel far away from Poppa. I want in the game!

Naaah.

RFK.
MLK.
But that is still killing power. What about butchering the weak?

Oklahoma City. One thing, the truck-bomb, the one parked in front, the one that blew out half of the building, the only bomb, that truck-bomb left a rather puny crater, about a foot and a half deep and 10-15 feet diameter. And the ATF guys telling people, on video, that they were paged not to come into work. And the guys with duffel bags full of blue jogging suits and explosives, and the Federal demands for their release.

And the first Twin Towers bombing. "But you said this was a sting, what the fuck is up with the real explosives?!", "JUST DO IT." They were supposed to park the van next to the column, not twelve feet away.

The BBC said it was astounding that MI-5 and 6 had training exercises concerning multiple transit bombings in the exact same places as the real bombings and at the same time. Whoa, that is astounding.

No independent reporter has been able to prove that Zacharias Moussaoui (the Decapitator) hasn't been dead for a number of years.
But that would mean... those videos... Daniel Pearl... really wet teams... aaieeee!

Does Dear Reader recognize the wrestling-match between me and my shame-faced submergence in conspiracy theory? Fuck you, Dear Reader!

Sorry, I try not to externalize my pain anymore.

How abouts I publish now and get back to you in sooner than 50 days. The pic is Labisse's Secretoises or is it Cretoises?

Yay! The French reject something, tons upset!

2005-05-30T23:17:00.000-07:00

Wylin Out- Mos Def and Divers
A Joy- Four Tet, brand spankin' new baby!

Why does rhetoricpig find destruction interesting: war, natural disasters, fascist presidents and John Bolton as UN rep are all entertaining as long as I don't have to look at the pics of any sobbing victims' family members?

Rhetoricpig feels that John Bolton getting that job may be the best thing that could happen. His statements about American hegemony and efficacy are the closest to the truth I've heard from a high-level official. Shite, his statements give the hollerin' progressive left a run for their money when it comes to characterizing the establishment as completely amoral!

And this ain't a Bush thing, the men in the rears have just gotten antsy for action.

My top five list of Cthulhu Mythos writers, 1 is best, I invite critique:

1 Ramsey Campbell
2 Brian Lumley (early Lumley)
3 Henry Kuttner
4 Robert E. Howard
5 Clark Ashton Smith

HPL's name for Smith was Klarkash Ton

Sitting ducks: two men, three triple-aught rounds close in.

2005-05-28T17:09:00.000-07:00

Aesop Rock- Food, Clothes, Medicine
Leonard Cohen- One Of Us Cannot Be Wrong
Biz Markie and Big Daddy Kane- Freestyle Boxin'
Aphex Twin- Pikachu Mutha Fucka
Rodney O and Joe Cooley- Let's Have Some Fun

Not this pig's words for the most. James Ellroy and CS Lewis take up the slack.

The two blew up; glass and blood covered three more men inching along the wall. Rhetoricpig leaped, hit the ground, fired at three sets of legs pressed together; his free hand flailed, caught a revolver off a dead man's waistband.
Shrieks from the courtyard; running feet on gravel. Rhetoricpig dropped the shotgun, stumbled to the wall. Over to the men, tasting blood, point-blank head shots.
Thumps in the room; two rifles in grabbing range. Rhetoricpig yelled,"We got him!," heard answering woops, saw arms and legs coming out the window. He picked up the closest piece and let fly, full automatic: trapped targets, plaster chips exploding, dry wood igniting.
Over the bodies, into the room.

"If you can't find a partner use a wooden chair", Elvis as demonologist?

Coryphantha macromeris

Is a small cactus that grow in shapes similar to a brain mass of twisted convolutions (really?). It contains macromerine an analogue of mescaline and is still used as a ritual sacred hallucinogen. It was used in Europe as a cosmetic to dilate the pupils and make women appear more attractive to men. Its more potent use was in a flying ointment applied to a broom handle and put up the vagina and rectum to produce the classic picture of a witch flying on her broom.

I have to comment upon those 12-century ladies trippin' balls to beautify their pupils. Botox eat your heart out. And what's a 'flying ointment'?

Meanwhile, I have you to settle with. Most truly do I sign myself
Your increasingly ravenously affectionate uncle
Screwtape, I mean rhetoricpig

Me begging for comments and havin' my ish busted is tres lame, not ironic.

2005-05-25T18:12:00.000-07:00

Ain't It Fun - Rocket From The Tombs

Todays' mythos god is Abhoth- father/mother of all cosmic uncleanliness

"...eternally carries on its repugnant fission"

Pigthulhu rises!

2005-05-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

Mr. Oizo- Monophonic Shit and Smoking Tape
David Rovics- After We Torture Our Prisoners and Tsunami
Roots Manuva- Too Cold

My brother didn't get sent to prison... but the final court date is still to come. My projects and finals are just about done. I have yet to actually strike in anger any primary school children. And I've taken up drinking, again.

While not a fan of Bill Moyers or issue-oriented get-togethers, or even quotations from excessively rich texts like 1984, while not a fan of all that, I was struck and have been thinking about a bit of Moyers' talk at the Indymedia conference a couple weekends ago. The bit is this, 'Smith, a worker on the Newspeak dictionary project, is speaking to Winston, our protaganist, 'Don't you see, Winston, that the purpose of Newspeak is to reduce, to reduce the number of available concepts? To reduce thought. Don't you see that by 2050 there won't be a man or woman alive who can understand the conversation we're having right now?'

I maimed that paraphrasing but the first thing of incidence is the lack of an exception for the leaders, no exception for Big Brother in the above, the elite degrade likewise.

On a tangential note, do ya' think the children of the world-ruling elite, and thus the future world-ruling elite, osmose a level of knowledge and understanding unattained by the vast plebian masses?

On a maybe-tangential note, is the idea of a social contract the biggest wool ever pulled over the eyes of the common man?

Back to the degradation of thought. This ain't no future thang, nor a Bush spoil, this is the passed past. I was reading some Arthur Machen, specifically The White People and The Great God Pan,1895,1906. Mr. Machen has a wonderfully resolute and definite style. But this fogey leads by example, his secrets are his and his themes are not statements of themes but emotions and experiences, as inveigling as a coffin worm and as much of the solid ground as a butterfly or that poet, the albatross.

Or take George Herriman's Krazy Kat & Ignatz, this canon of anarchic formalism had a home in most funny pages of the thirties, nor was it lonely, Outfcault's Yellow Kid preceded it by 35 years, even Fontaine Fox's Toonerville Trolley, the HeeHaw of it's day, puts any modern sitcom to shame for its mass-media presentation of experimental formalism.

Leave me a comment and it'll be less than a month afore my next oinks.

If you use either of these phrases you're a cunty liar or retarded; postmodern people, expropriation.

2005-04-20T23:47:00.000-07:00

There was a convivial duck
Whom socially down on his luck
Said I'm bound by these morals
But I'm ace with the orals
So we must sixty-nine first then fuck

mp3s-
Gravediggaz- Defective Trip(Trippin')
Schneider TM- Reality Check and Frogtoise
Prefuse 73- Detchibe
Barry White- It's Ecstasy When You Lay Down Next To Me

RHETORICPIG aka Sheetcha Dross aka Le Sportif Naste aka The White Devil

2005-04-14T21:13:00.000-07:00

mp3s: Go Junior, Go Senior-Junior Senior
Mucha Muchacha-Jose Esquivel
Hell Is For Children-Pat Benatar
Verbal-Amon Tobin

When REM hits do ya' get bits of baby-slice sacrifice
And not mind? Do you happily find
Harried mercenary missions in dream frissons?

Then holla at the moon!

My Kalishnakov's sawn-off
And I run on all fours.

Holla at the sun,
Look it dead in the eye and deaden your eye.

My Kalishnakov's busted an' broke,
But 'tis true,
That when I can walk when I dream,
That I lope.

Like a bone, my skinny ends in the middle.

2005-04-07T16:36:00.000-07:00

mp3s
Maxine- Ghostface Killah
The Distorted C (All We Want)- Fun-Da-Mental
White Boy(Dance Mix)- Culture Club-"you're white, dance like an enemy"
Loaded- Primal Scream

I'm taking a teaching social studies class. That abbreviates to SS. As does Social Security. SS. Lest we forget the Schutzstaffel, the bad SS.

Today's 'ess-ess' is of the personal retirement type. But quick, here we go. Social Security is about 6.5 percent of payroll taxes. Bush and Dick say 'we are only proposing an allocation of 4.2 percent of that 6.5.' Note the unambiguous 'only'. 4.2 percent of 6.5 percent is point 273 percent, that is a number belonging in a sentence modified with the word 'only'. On the other hand what percent is the '4.2 percent of that 6.5'? Approximately 65%, a number which would make the above 'only' statement the most bald-faced, disingenuous, and fucking wrong piece of shit on ice.

I... wonder, wonder... who-ooo, who wrote The Book of Love.

That's hexod's pic of a Hollywood standard. Here's to each and every person who has eaten one of those while waiting in line for a club and an hour later wondered if they ate dog. No, really, they're delicious.

I'll cut off an ear so's you listen better.

2005-04-02T14:28:00.000-08:00

mp3s- Sunshowers- new M.I.A.
N.Y. Electric (Hunter interlude)- Aesop Rock
Sexy Plexi- Jack Johnson
La Reina Del Baile- ABBA

My precision's an incision made with a spoon, sharpened to shear atoms on the floor of this room.
Or not.
An incision's an incision. That's my notion of affective precision. A decision's a decision, effective or not.

The painting is 'The Raspberry Tree' by Omar Rayyan.

I'll give you some effin' phrenology!

2005-03-21T17:22:00.000-08:00

Hey lumpy, long time, no hose.

mp3s-Atmosphere-Multiples Reprise(remix)
Black Flag-Shed Reading(Ratticus Norvegicus)
Justice Vs. Simian-Never Be Alone-thanks to the seemingly abandoned Lickety Spit
Helge Schneider-We Gotta Rock, We Gotta Roll

My beard is long, as are my nails. I've eaten all the rats. My cell is deep. My beard is long. I'm full of rot. I ate a rock. I whistle when I talk. My eyes are weak, as is my skin. I nary feel a tear.

In honor of the upcoming death of the burgeoning activist movement here is a jpeg of an r. piggy original, March On Washington. Aww, whadaya mean death?! I'll explain at my leisure, keep your panties held.

POP THAT...

2005-03-19T14:06:00.000-08:00

No big ups to the sloppy, slimy hooers, whores, and howzats.
Anyvays...
How ya' been? Enough of this gladhanding Spanky, it's music then Bush.

Sage Francis-Dance Monkey
Mercyful Fate-A Corpse Without A Soul
The 5.6.7.8's-Bomb The Twist
BoxCar Willie-Whiteline Fever
Kid Koala-A Night At The Nufonia
Awesome found pic courtesy of hexod.us, I hope he don't mind the bitin'.

Bush, the president not the vagina, has been a-blowin' my mind. First, the social security thing's a smoke screen, the only thing aside from that which has breached the news cycle has been frivolous male-escort-reporter stories and Bush's FUCKING ASTOUNDING appointments. But more on the appointments momentarily. What hasn't been news? Drilling in Anwar hasn't been news, Bush signing off on the hunting of the last herds of wild horses hasn't been news(dogfood?), the reinstatement of baby seal clubbing season in Canada, not news, Haiti, nope, all the weird shit about abstinence education and giving religious organizations exemptions from antidiscrimination laws, none of it's been news.

Okay, on we mush, my pack-herd of curs. I've got a rather unpleasant but accurate take on the public's receptiveness to the SS plan.

First nobody's buying it, Bush's is getting his first (aside from the WMDs) large public failure. Don't tell me Iraq is a failure, we're talking about Bush's wants not yours. So this huge red fifty million plus mass of fools that everybody's been mocking and hating as idiots and dupes for reelecting the man are smart enough to know when someone's hand is in their pocket. Meaning; declaring war, bombing people, having an authoritarian leader, and all sorts of other fun shit is just a part of the game or play that people want to be immersed in. But, and it's a big ole but, but the people are conscious enough to not buy a Big Lie about their retirement fund. Gives new depth to the previous piggy proclamation that Americans don't care.

John Negroponte to head the intelligence community! Was Dr. No and his cat busy? For all you ignoramuses, John Negroponte looks like a bull who's body has revolted against the steroid treatments and is now cancerously growing fat, and said bull is stuffed uncermoniously into a happy-undertaker suit with a bolo tie and sent to South America to start death squads to kill nuns and kids and do other necessary evils.

John Bolton as US rep to the UN? That Bush is such a card! Mr. Bolton has said that the UN doesn't exist, that it is a figment whose only utility is to be used for aesthetic efficacy by the US, he has publicly declared all treaties null and void in the face of America's awesome wants and power. He said, I'm paraphrasing, 'If the top five floors of the UN were spontaneously destroyed it wouldn't be a loss.'

Paul Wolfowitz appointed as head of the world bank. Henh. My facts are a bit sparse, but suffice to say Paul has repeatedly questioned the existence of the world bank. Again, for the ignorant, Wolfowitz is the head architect of the current American foreign policy and philosophy; that America's status as the world's sole superpower must be protected with force(nobody else can come on up, goddamnit!) But nobody's questioning that the World Bank and it's, hehn, leader have access to a galactic amount of cash.

Makes Condoleeza, Chertoff, and Gonzales seem like downright sensible choices, ay? Just wait for His Honorable Chief Justice John Ashcroft.

LAMEST POST EVER!!!, part deux.

2005-03-01T15:39:00.002-08:00

Never mind these fine mp3s. Stevie Wonder sings Bang! Bang!. Two versions of Skinny Puppy's Stairs And Flowers, Stairs And Flowers (Too Far Gone), and Stairs And Flowers (Def Wish Mix). From General Patton and the X-Ecutioners here's two, X-Men Doctrine and Declaration, and General P. Counterintelligence. Enjoy.

To really prove my blogging apathy here's a list of piggy's current reads.

Lords of Chaos: The Bloody Rise of the Satanic Metal Underground - Didrik S0derlind
Maldoror - Comte. de Lautremont. Late 1800's, eating live babies...
The View From Hell - John Shirley. Gratuitous.
Photoshop Visual Jumpstart - Richard Schrand
La Llamada de Cthulhu y Otros Cuentos - H.P. Lovecraft
A People's History of the United States - Howard Zinn. Whiners! 'Ehhhn, quit enslaving me!'
After Shocks: An Anthology of So-Cal Horror
Krazy & Ignatz 1925-1926 - George Herriman. If you were here I'd brick you baby.
Brian Lumley's Freaks - Brian Lumley
The Steel Breakfast Era - Carlton Mellick III

And I just finished these three, they wish to be mentioned.
Until She Sleeps - Tim Lebbon, horror, kids, nightmares, Lebbon can seem banal but he pulls no punches.
Monstrocity - Jeffrey Thomas
The Decadent Return of the Hi-fi Queen and Her Embryonic Reptile Infection - Simon Logan

Aren't I cool?

!!!WORST POST EVER!!!

John Travolta sings.

2005-02-23T23:05:00.000-08:00

Sandy.

Not this pig's words today.

2005-02-22T16:48:00.000-08:00

mp3s, Emergency Stopover from the Assault on Precinct 13 soundtrack (the original foo'!), Hall of Heads by They Might Be Giants, and The Candy Song by Masters Of Reality, God they're good!

Rather here are a few excerpts from the Project for a New American Century's January 28th Letter to Congress on Increasing U.S. Ground Forces. PNAC'S not conspiracy theory, they're just some serious movers and shakers. And they are not just Republican. Here goes.

Dear Senator Frist, Senator Reid, Speaker Hastert, and Representative Pelosi:

The United States military is too small for the responsibilities we are asking it to assume. Those responsibilities are real and important. They are not going away. The United States will not and should not become less engaged in the world in the years to come.

And.

... it is our judgment that we should aim for an increase in the active duty Army and Marine Corps, together, of at least 25,000 troops each year over the next several years.

Wow! And.

Yet after almost two years in Iraq and almost three years in Afghanistan, it should be evident that our engagement in the greater Middle East is truly, in Condoleezza Rice's term, a "generational commitment."

Um, okay.

This nation can afford a robust defense posture along with a strong fiscal posture. And we can afford both the necessary number of ground troops and what is needed for transformation of the military.

Go on.

We do not propose returning to a Cold War-size or shape force structure. We do insist that we act responsibly to create the military we need to fight the war on terror and fulfill our other responsibilities around the world.

You're very pushy. Finally.

You will be serving your country well if you insist on providing the military manpower we need to meet America's obligations, and to help ensure success in carrying out our foreign policy objectives in a dangerous, but also hopeful, world.

Respectfully,

rhetoricpig
For the whole letter and list of signatories, go here.

Weekly bacon report: week one.

2005-02-20T18:46:00.000-08:00

Mp3 baby, YEAH, mpTHREE! Battle Hymn of the Technics Republic by General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners. Flyawy Love Pt. 2 by Armand Van Helden. Ain't It Fun by Rocket From the Tomb. Ain't It Fun by Guns 'n' Roses. Rhetoricpig in the past, like his cloven namesake, has had a cathartic relationship with shit, thus r.piggy having seen Blair Witch 2 - Book of Shadows, four+ dozen times. From that wonderful piece of crap here's The Queens of the Stone-Age with Feel Good Hit of the Summer. And, quit lookin' at my dick! here's Cold Blooded by Rick James.

Our first bacon report begins with a particularly vexing pair of specimens. Large, inconsistent, overly fatty, but still possessed of a high-quality meat and cure. This bacon in general is apt to be cured to the maximum extreme rather than the minimum. I appreciate this and the small strip of like meat was savored as could be. An offensively large strip of fat I ripped to bits and added to my meal (maybe it would've been good in my coffee?). All in all on a still-nascent one through five bacon report scale this was a three. Keep in mind, this is a connoiseur's scale. Most if not all fast-food bacon would rank a zero, IHOP, Denny's and other nothin' bacons would rank a one. Two'n up are quality pork.

It ain't easy bein' greeen.

2005-02-15T18:47:00.000-08:00

Today's mp3s are Too Much Love by LCD Soundsystem, Attitude by The Misfits, Cold Beverage by G Love and Special Sauce, A Little Is Enough by Pete Townshend and Raphael Rudd, and I Got a Bag of My Own by James Brown.

Fuckin' rhetoricpig's had a week or two. Lotsa school, the work type and the class type. Having special-needs preschoolers sneeze in your face can get old. I left my house. I went dancing. I talked to people at work and a couple of truly gorgeous girls, one an old friend I contacted, yes, I used to have friends. Did I mention I left my room?
Man, I feel like the sword of Damocles is always over this pig's head, or for the plebes, ya'know the wizard Shazam that gives Billy Batson his powers and he has this big stone throne and over it, hanging by a thread, is a huge stone block, like that. Though my problem's not when I'm on the throne.
Sometimes rhetoricpig fancies living in one of those 'group' homes, not the ones where they take you on trips to the store, but one that lets you walk to the store on your own. Yea.

I know I can bounce around and have some semblance of fun by using mania and too many drugs. But, I've decided not to do that anymore. I also know that growth takes place in the company of discomfort, translated for our librarian friend Nichole as 'the zone of proximal development'. I've also been more grounded, calm, and centered (take your pick) the last weeks... so I had to contact the girl that makes me the opposite of those things more than anybody.

The photo's somethin' I tweaked, original by Hexod.

A brief summary of current and realistically likely space weapons would include:

2005-02-09T23:49:00.000-08:00

My mp3 for you is Vapona, Not Glue by Aksak Maboul '77.

- Hypervelocity Rod Bundles: Bundles of Tungsten Rods fired from orbiting platforms at a moment's notice toward earth at 3,700 meters per second, accurate to a range of 8 meters and able to destroy even the most hardened target.

Ooooooh, so cool! But this doesn't mention their far and away unmatched ground-penetrating ability. Earthquake? But man, there's some fuckin' functional aesthetics for ya'!

HELLO?! These songs deserved comments, sho' nuff.

2005-02-08T18:23:00.000-08:00

One fresh mp3, weenies- AC/DC -What's Next To The Moon.

Metallica's Last Caress definitely deserved a comment. If you're not a metal fan, listen to the first 30 seconds for sheer lyrical prowess.

I thought David Bowie singing with Trent Reznor was worth a comment. But whatever.

And Harry Nilsson's The Game and Poli High absolutely cry out with earnest desire for your comment.

ZAGER AND EVANS = NO COMMENT?????????

A country named Irab?

2005-02-06T18:54:00.000-08:00

mp3s- #9 and #10 from Tony, Toni, Tone's Sons of Soul, Gangsta Groove, Tonyies! In the Wrong Key. The Game and Poli High from Harry Nilsson's The Point. Here's Vic Damone's (not that Vic Damone's) Hot and Wet. Don't forget me bitches! Here's LCD Soundsystem giving you Thrills and Disco Infiltrator. Ho ho ho.

So it would seem I'm the only person that remembers seeing Firestarter or JFK or D.A.R.Y.L. or American Ninja or Rambo one, two, or three. I say this because these fine movies taught me at a young age to assume the worst about governments and power in general. So it takes somethin' to surprise me.

IRAN?! Sure, they don't know how to build a house properly, (the Bam earthquake'03 killed forty thousand due to the prevalence of large brick roofs atop wooden structures), but, DAMN, Iran is real big!

Rumsfeld is fucking awesome, lightning guns, super-ecstasy bombs, burrowing nukes and mini-nukes, LSD experiments, and robots with flags on their foreheads which will fight on long after all life is gone, all these are real projects that our fucking awesome defense secretary has proposed or run during his last 300 years as a liege of the dark. I made up the number 300 and that part about the flags. But the rest is true, we DO have a sci-fi fuck, comic book killer, cacklin' mad scientist runnin' things, controlling money and destructive power which would better be likened to the realm of stars. Personally, gives me a warmer feeling than one might assume. Luke.

As one of the Army's commanders you are at the forefront of the drive to stamp out alcohol and drug misuse in the Service.

I'm not one to assume sloppiness or ineptitude on the part of the US administration. I think most of their 'mistakes' are wholly purposeful, oops, my immigration plan didn't pass, oops, I've got no 'exit' plan, oops, I'm not gonna ban abortion, oops...

But I've yet to recognize the solid-footing of this 'oops'. It looks like the Iranian born and loyal head honcho Al- Sistani (or whatever) is gonna beat our man Allawi (or whatever). This seems like a sophmoric screw-up, maybe Bush believes in democracy. Howard Zinn doesn't think so.

- END - IRAN - PART 2 - TO BE CONTINUED -

Jeb Bush is breeding brown Bushes!

2005-02-05T19:50:00.000-08:00

Iran. Let's have a set-to and talk about Iran. First off, don't automatically assume I'm anti-war or against the success of the pillaging and rape-facilitating corporate mega-men. I'm approaching this from a more gestalt-oriented, aesthetic angle.

That out of the way, IRAN! Fucking Iran!

For moral guidance let us now turn to Metallica. Last Caress... SHIT! That didn't work out as expected. I thought we'd get some sort of Johnny-Gets-His-Gun type message like in One.

Not directly related mp3s- Nine Inch Nails with David Bowie. This caos is killing me (hearts filthy lesson). Hurt.

- END - IRAN - PART ONE - TO BE CONTINUED -

Rare photographic evidence of rhetoricpig's previous incarnation! Buddhists were right all along!

2005-02-02T23:18:00.000-08:00

And a solemn request for information. So I really dig this album, but I don't know what it is. I think it's Russian. I think the band's named Faktor-2. It sounds sorta like folk-pop-rap. I have a letter by letter translation of the album title as V Nashem Stile. Here's two tracks, Prestuplenie(?), and Krasavica(?).

Even the most hateful, violent idjit cares how something is cooked.

2005-02-01T11:10:00.000-08:00

Zager and Evans, Woman and In The Year 2525.

No comedy from this pie-thief this post. Only honeyed gospel from two sixties horndogs.

'Hey, let's go down to the rally and see if we can pick up some loose hippy chicks.' 'Sure, is my beard long enough?'

THOUSANDS RALLY! CALL FOR PEACE, END TO WAR!

The robots these songs imply, and the threats they pose.

2005-01-31T21:01:00.000-08:00

mp3s-2 from Daft Punk's new lp, an Armand van Helden, and the delicious Distroia ep by Mouse On Mars in it's entirety.

Daft Punk
Robot Rock
Steam Machine

First, let's take a look at Robot Rock from Daft Punk's Human After All. Here's a pretty standard representation of the robot-man, there's some increased speed, there's a certain obvious detachment, and there's the extended use of repetition. Robots love the repetition. Also present is a certain simplicity, and personally, I've seen/heard nothing yet to give me pause to worry. Steam Machine, aside from the anarchic title, presents the image of a possibly more formidable foe, just in that we get our first example of the robotic application of force. I'm not impressed. Though the inhuman steadiness with which the slightly high level force was applied is of note.
In closing I doubt these robots possess the initiative nor creativity to constitute a threat to man. But more importantly, in direct conflict, strategically and on the battlefield, we'll wipe the floor with them.

Armand van Helden
The Robots Are Cumming

Now then, let's move on to Armand van Helden's much more problematic The Robots Are Cumming. In comparison to the previous this is faster, the repetition is more pronounced, and while the force exerted may be similar to that of Daft Punk's 'bot, the force applied seems to be much greater here. The repetition may be an exploitable weakness and strength and speed are arenas we must expect to relinquish superiority in in the event of a human-robot coflict. What's most disturbing is the disposition of these metallic Oedipuses. There is a dangerous paranoia. "We will survive," is repeated as in turn, a threat, a statement of hope, and an expression of apocalytic fear. All of which fuel a fierce opposition. While strategically of little suprise, it cannot be ignored that the immediate target of all this automated maladroit energy is the human female! "When we cum inside." It is this phrase, pardon the expression, coupled with the seemingly willing flesh and blood woman whom can be heard at the outset of the audio, which leaves me so worried. I can't imagine how a breeding relationship could lead elsewhere than a second-class and terminal position. I know this is a sentimental 'problem' of less tactical note than their speed and strength. But I can't help myself, I'm just a human.
We're all just human.
Brothers and sisters, we have our work cut out for us. Do I think we can win? Yes. But bloody.

Mouse On Mars- Distroia ep
1. Distroia
2. Yippie
3. Distroia [Super Sonig Fadeout]
4. E135
Music by robots, for robots.

Okay, there's the requisite speed and repetition. And there are the occasional expressions of inhuman strength. But where is the simplicity? Most disturbing, where is the detachment, the hollow robotiness? It would appear that the M.O.M. (Mouse On Mars) robots are a different breed of beast altogether than the previous two sorry shades of robotic threat. Dammit! Where is the easily intimated human-centrism which has made us feel so much more important, so much better in our previous conflicts with 'metals'? Am I jumping around? Am I scaring you? I'm scared! These satanic M.O.M. 'bots are too much for us to hope to handle. They're smarter than us! They're faster and stronger than us! And now they're more fucking sensitive than us!
There is one thing in our favor. Only one thing. The M.O.M. 'bots have not deemed us a threat. Yet. Let us hope and pray that we maintain this slight from our new metal masters. Believe it and *quietly I whisper* shut the fuck up!

One can picture/hear a M.O.M. robot standing over the inconsequential last dead person, remarking, "I'm human after all."

Important community obligation!

2005-01-27T15:43:00.000-08:00

*mp3* Class System (feat. Pharrell Williams and Julee Cruise) - Handsome Boy Modeling School

In a previous post I gave a list of invasion-ripe nations. The comments that followed included a number of intelligent suggestions for additions to the list. There was also the suggestion of Poland. I quickly replied that this was a horrible and stupid idea, mainly because Poland is an ally (and a friend), but also that they have a frightfully powerful navy.
While this truly is a bad idea, after the properly chided commenter quickly responded that there was some mistyping, the truly wonderful (and noble) invasion suggestion came to light. We must invade the Roland music technology corporation.
Not only do they have primo keyboards, mixers, mass-cd burners, and even beautiful digital accordians like the one pictured. They torture their people! Women have little to no rights nor expectation of safety in/at Roland! Not content with being world leaders in the advancement of sound recording technology, Roland is ACTIVELY PURSUING A NUCLEAR DEVICE!

Since no one will, we must! We will! We will prevail!

You have no rights.

2005-01-26T17:49:00.000-08:00

mp3 Kreator- Total Death. From Endless Pain, 1985.

You have three things. What you deserve. What you can affect. And what you're gonna get. That's reality, there're no rights on that list. You don't have any rights.

So let me get this straight. You're not a huge fan of ignoring the reality of the constructs of society.

Marriage, feh. Religion, yawn. Racism, boo. Gender, pshaw. Rights, I got fu*king rights!

You point out these constructs' artifice, their weakness, their falsity. Even while attesting that you have freedom of speech. Even while attesting that 'I have my rights!' and 'You can't give me a cavity search!' Even while attesting that 'My lord cannot!' run you through, from horseback, with his sword, as the Sheriff sits on his favorite stump and laughs.

You have:
1. What you deserve. Your feelings are real. That's why things hurt.
2. What you can affect. Gun, cash, bigtime lawyer, big muscles, working spine, all can be plusses.
3. What you're gonna get. This is the intersection between what you can affect and everything else. You should write a poem about your problems with it.

I guess I can understand using the rhetoric to accomplish/gain things. But that's all it is, rhetoric.

If you get a moving violation (and maybe other stuff) in California and go to court, the court arbitrarily adds a significant amount to the fine and then doubles the whole deal. Or something like that. Is that in the constitution?

Countries the United States should invade (in order) and why.

2005-01-24T15:29:00.000-08:00

#7 and #8 from Tony, Toni, Tone's Sons of Soul, (Lay Your Head On My) Pillow, I Couldn't Keep It To Myself.

1st. Africa- Where do I begin? This country more desperately needs United States intervention than any other.

2nd. Iran- They have long goaty beards and wear black robes. Plus, it's pretty confusing having Iran and Iraq right next to each other, we could fix that.

3rd. Switzerland- Those neutral bastards have had it coming for a long, long time.

4th. Great Britain- The most highly anticipated rematch of our lifetimes! WHITE VERSUS WHITE! ANGLO VERSUS ANGLO! Will they fight with their pinkies out or will they show the world what savagery really looks like?

5th. Texas- This truculent nation's sovereignity is a constant threat to the security of the U.S. and it's populace.

6th. India- Somebody's been getting a bit big for their britches and is due to get knocked down a peg or two.

7th. Vatican City- There are many invaluable and immeasurably destructive items, devices, artifacts, sigils, books, and scrolls hidden away beneath the city. If they are too big of pussies to use them then we have the obligation to our people to secure the greatest available position of strength.

8th. Georgia- What sort of trickery is this? We have a proprietary right to this great southern state, even it is somehow located in eastern Europe.

--INCOMPLETE LIST--

Fu*k Ninja Tune!

2005-01-23T16:28:00.000-08:00

Why must so much power be used for evil?

RIRSAD (the rhetoricpig institute for remedial socialization and advanced deepness, rhetoricpig for short) is ecstatic to announce a new inductee into the Glue Hall of Fame! 'Jet fuel, pet fuel! Give me glue!' Here's Armand Van Helden's Koochy.

We here at rhetoricpig feel it incumbent upon ourselves to comment on President Bush's recent innauguration speech. This speech was MOST extraordinary. For the last 90 or maybe 150 years there has been first a vibrant debate and then a consenual negation of the idea that the U.S. should/must excercise moral authority and righteous physical dominance over the planet the U.S. happens to reside on, ie be the world's policeman. NOT IN BUSH'S MIND. W is the world's beat cop. And making his rounds just like that beat cop he'll eventually get to your corner of HIS neighborhood. And that cop's morally obligated to stop the crime he encounters, right? I mean, he's got the gun, who else is gonna do it?

All of this is rhetorical shorthand for action, action, ACTION.

Maybe the sniffer-in-chief should switch to glue.

And again, why must Ninja Tune use it's immense power for such downtempo, jazzy evil?

Obligatory worst post ever. I changed my sidebar.

2005-01-22T19:00:00.000-08:00

See if your blog is on the list. If it's not, holler at me. It may be because your blog takes itself too serious, but an invitation makes everything sweeter to the pig.

The mp3s aren't the worst. Here's #5 and #6 off Tony, Toni, Tone's Sons Of Soul, Leavin' and Slow Wine.

My sidebar was straight shite. I admit it. But now it is organized baby! Four sections, you effing bloggers, rhetoric, impersonal music links, and ephemera.

The Rolling Stones 2. Is that a good name for a band?

2005-01-21T20:59:00.000-08:00

From the Shaun of the Dead soundtrack here's Kid Koala's mix of the Noveltone's The Gonk. Followed by this extravaganza, Fun Dead (Cheggars vs. The Gonk). Shortbutsweet.

Any sort of band. And no, it wouldn't have anything to do with The Rolling Stones.

The gauge of my memory sieve just got larger.

2005-01-20T21:48:00.000-08:00

mp3s- #3 and #4 from Toni, Tony, Tone's Sons of Soul
My Ex-Girlfriend (one of my faves)
Tell Me Mama

I had a post planned about how all chordata (animals with spinal chords) are basically double layered tubes with three types of cells, inside, outside, and just in-between. These in-between cells are most interesting, your anus and the always-wet parts of your lips. The second part of this kiboshed post was a exploration of the idea that waste traveling through your digestive system (from teeth to ass) is never actually inside of you. Rather it is in a contiguous channel traveling through and defining the tube that you are. Urine is your only true waste.

So you say, 'you just posted it.' Well, what I had planned was more technical. But I forgot a word. The word for the category of those in-between cells. And now these devil words have invaded my brain guaranteeing I'll never remember. It's not 'parietal', that's a bone but also cells in a cavity or channel. And it's not 'perineum' that's the space between your anus and your jubblies. Nor 'perineal'.

I hate blogs without a comment button.

2005-01-19T23:32:00.000-08:00

Do you want to read the Los Angeles crime-noir version of Jerzy Kosinski's The Painted Bird?

2005-01-19T20:12:00.000-08:00

mp3s- Al-Naafiysh (The Soul) - Hashim. Thanks Guys, Fu*k You - Good For Cows.

You know The Painted Bird. If not,

... And with a rapid movement such as women use to gouge out the rotten spots while peeling potatoes, he plunged the spoon into one of the boy's eyes and twisted it.

The eye sprang out of his face like a yolk from a broken egg and rolled down the miller's hand onto the floor. The plowboy howled and shrieked, but the miller's hold kept him pinned against the wall. Then the blood-covered spoon plunged into the other eye, which sprang out even faster. For a moment the eye rested on the boy's cheek as if uncertain what to do next; then it finally tumbled down his shirt onto the floor.

Eugh, that was tough to transcribe. *breathe* And it just gets worse after that, that's page 36. My book recommendation is Matthew Stokoe's High Life. It is a dark, dark, DAMN DARK, and nasty, and dirty, and filthy, and almost evil, but quite intelligent, read. I don't have my copy but here's a quote from his only other book; the much more fantasmagorical Cows.

... The Guernsey's head was soaked with blood, part of it's snout buried in the burst abdomen of a young woman held sideways and aloft by the snouts of other cows. Steven looked closely at her and saw her eyelids flutter. Wall impact was seconds away and there was nothing, absolutely nothing on earth she could do to escape dying under an avalanche of beef.

Involvement on a more personal level was imperative. He reached forward, gripping tthe Guernsey with his knees, and took hold of her head, thumbs gently closing her eyes and resting there. He locked his arms straight and drew his fingers back until they were curled behind the woman's ears.

Her head was the first thing to hit and the impact drove Steven's thumbs through her eyes and into her skull. Viscuous milky sludge squirted from her sockets and wet his forearms, then her head burst in his grasp and fountained blood and brain against the tiles in an enormous ink-blot pattern.

And yes, I quoted with the aim of somewhat shocking you. I wouldn't recommend either book unless there was a lot there other than just blood, guts, abuse, and nasty sex. If you just want that read Edward Lee and Wrath James White's The Teratologist. But don't think either, that I got the most nasty bits out of the way. No way.

I'd really, really like to hear from anybody that's read any Stokoe. Buy High Life, it's 11.53$.

Is this delicious song racialist?

2005-01-18T17:51:00.000-08:00

Beans and Cornbread by Taj Mahal and Linda Tillery. Naah, this tune's all about brotherly love. Enjoy. And that is a picture of grilled meatloaf. Why didn't I think of that? As rhetoricpig wallows here in Los Angeles' San Fernando Valley, my piggy mouth waters, for I think back to a favorite UK delicacy. Deep fried sausages. *mmm* Now, we know that the English eat fish 'n' chips the way yanks eat burgers. This gives them deep-frying advantages. Don't get me wrong, America is home to the holy Mecca of deep-fried foods; the Minnesota State Fair. *mmm* Deep fried Snickers bars. Why didn't I think of that?
But where we're making fries and taquitos, they're making the main dish. And my main dish of choice right now would be 2 deep fried sausages and a large order of chips. These are stout sausages, about 2 inches by 6 inches, heavily battered. And this piggy likes an excessive amount of vinegar. Picture by benchilada.

A futile attempt to not sh!t my pants.

2005-01-18T13:31:00.000-08:00

The high-quality whole record is too rare. We love our singles. M.I.A.s album was pretty good. As is Nellie McKay's two disc. The latter is more impressive in that it is stylistically diverse (to say the least). Not AS diverse, but an equally impressive unified work, is one of my faves, Sons of Soul by Tony, Toni, Tone. 12 tracks, one dud. And the dud's debateable 'cause it's a slow ballad. I've spent my proverbial wad, it has been small as of late, so let's begin.

If I had No Loot
What Goes Around, Comes Around

Come back real soon for the next couple tracks, y'hear.

Don't get me wrong, we can all rattle off tons of favorite records, (Salt n Pepa, AC/DC, Leo Kottke, Asylum Choir, Joe Walsh, Culture Club, etc., etc.), but allow me my blanket statements.

That's a funny accent, pt. deux.

2005-01-17T17:41:00.000-08:00

hexod.us

Mr. Egyptian - Jon Wayne
What You Deserve Is What You Get - Seeed
Actionist Respoke - Mouse On Mars
Track 4 - Ya i Dryg Moy Gruzovik

*oynk* *oynk-oynk* More Aksak Maboul, Mouse on Mars, Jon Wayne, and if you demand it, Seeed to come.

Whoa! That's a mighty long name ya got there boy. 'Kay, let's put Danny Kaye. That's your new name, Danny Kaye. Next.

2005-01-17T15:28:00.000-08:00

Tous Les Trucs Qu'il Y A La Dehors and Mercredi Matin - Aksak Maboul
Exedrin - Kool Savas
Super 16 - NEU!

How about a stinkin' comment? I ain't had one in days and YOU can remedy that. Come on!

3 Immortal Technique lyric quotes. harshness warning warning, harsh

2005-01-16T22:52:00.000-08:00

Angry, not-so-young man, Immortal Technique is a damn fine artisan. Refreshing is that his 'success' is attributable to his drive and perspective, not to his overly-hyped MAD SKILLZ. Not that I.T. don't have immodest skills. Here's 2 songs. Obnoxious and The Message and the Money. This post is apt to give the wrong impression about I.T.. He's intelligent, he's political, he's well read. But...

That's your girl? B!tch, get over here! Give me some brain. I'll bust off in her face. And right after the segment, she'll probably rub it in her pussy, tryin' to get herself pregnant. I said it, I meant it. That's the way I deal with enemies. Like pro-lifers who support the death penalty.

That's a pretty standard refrain from the progessive left. Not the pussy-rub line, rather that there is prima fascia evidence of horrid hypocrisy inherent in holding both a pro-life/anti-choice position and a pro-capital punishment view. This is not the case. Let rhetoricpig explain. The progressive left is unable or unwilling to admit to the stark differences in the ways in which the right and the left percieve and identify the concept of 'guilt'. For the left, guilt is something personal and subjective. It is about feelings and perceptions of actions done. For the left guilt belongs to the guilty. Not so for the right. To the right, guilt is not a feeling to be mulled and mewled over at one's whim rather it is a decisive statement of fact. 'You do bad thing. You guilty. You have guilt. You get onus.' And not a metaphorical onus, no, a big scarlet letter A.
Okay, so, anyone can admit the differential between an unborn, water-dwelling little human and a big scary con with tattoos and muscles and shivs and worldly pain.
That coupled with something rhetoricpig has already lectured about, the ever-present distinction in the bible, Talmud, and Koran, of the difference between killing and murdering. War and capital punishment are biblically endorsed, remember. Killing someone because they personally upset you is usually frowned upon.
So get with the program! Don't attack an invalid weakness. No fiery mental hoops need be jumped through to reconcile savin' the cute little embryos and fryin' the murderers and rapists and sendin' them to their just rewards.
That's it for the unrequested rhetorical rant, on with the other two promised Immortal Technique quotes. This one's also from Obnoxious.

I'm invokin' the spirit. We takin' it back in the day, to the golden age when whack motherf*ckers used to get thrown off stage!

Yee-haw! Don't worry whack blogger, nobody's in any position to throw your ass proverbially off-stage.
And from our other cut, The Message and the Money, Immortal Technique lets his rough side show.

Oh, heh, and one last thing. You don't have to agree with everything I said, but don't ever be condescending to me. Biggin' up your whack-ass friends that rhyme and bein' like, 'Oh yeah, Immortal Technique, he's a'ight.' No, nigger! Your mom's pussy, that's a'ight! Your peoples getting shot dead in the street. That's a'ight! I'm the motherf*ckin Immortal Technique nigger! The message and the money! And you ain't got either.

Sounds like Saturday night at the donut shop playin' Street Fighter 2. Shoryuken, b!tch!

I think the Pizza Hut delivery guys by my house are part of some Bush conspiracy.

2005-01-16T15:42:00.000-08:00

Kill All The DJs - Beats for Beginners
See, I was having a hotdog at QT's dogs, actually a split and grilled Chicago fire dog with mustard and onions. And next door is the Pizza Hut. Well pizza man #1 was driving out while pizza man #2 was walking into the Hut. And get this, #1 signalled #2 by honking his horn! Whatever the code was, the message was passed because #2 smiled at his conspirator!
Now all this could be an extended series of Rube Goldberg coincidences. But! But I smiled at pizzaman #2 as he walked up to the store... And he did not smile at me!
What the HELL is Bush up to NOW?!
My photo-server's down today, so imagine a picture of a bloody butcher knife.

Hi, you guys know me. I'm rhetoricpig, and I'll be your substitute teacher today.

2005-01-16T14:23:00.000-08:00

And. My Name Is Cheech The School Bus Driver - Cheech Marin. *oink-oink* *oink-oink* *oink-oink-oink-oink*

Hey! Let's try to keep our keyboards clean, okay!

2005-01-15T15:27:00.000-08:00

Here's to your day being well-oiled, be it with pork fat, wd-40, or edible massage oil. Here's Pete Townshend and Raphael Rudd with an acoustic guitar and harp, Let My Love Open The Door.

My fine piggy hairs are soft and silky.

2005-01-14T14:04:00.000-08:00

You know this. The best music can sometimes feel as though it is a direct act of kind and affectionate love between the artist and the specific audience (you). This is beautiful, but best not to be thought too hard about as they probably do not want to hug or hang out with you. This wonderful Cockney cracker makes this valley boy feel just so. So here's The Streets with a big aural hug. Don't Mug Yourself and Same Old Thing.

Considering what's to come, how do you feel about something less than pleasant?

2005-01-14T13:14:00.000-08:00

I think I'm still partial to the original, (which I posted in the last couple weeks), but I am impressed with Marilyn Manson's version of Rock n' Roll Nigger. *oink* *oinkoink*

Some Byron, b!tches.

2005-01-14T01:58:00.000-08:00

Rza and ODB- We Pop

A spirit passed before me: I beheld
The face of immortality unveil'd
Deep sleep came down on every eye save mine
And there it stood, all formless- but divine;
Along my bones the creeping flesh did quake;
And as my damp hair stiffen'd, thus it spake:

And the next stanza basically says 'Who the hell do you think you are, you're nothing compared to God!' And there's a reason why I didn't include it. I'm fascinated with that third line, 'Deep sleep came down on every eye save mine'. Zonk! Everybody's out but you. The first issue of Judge Dredd published in American comic format had that storyline, sorta. Aah, stories drawn entirely by Brian Bolland. *sigh*

Let's dance!

2005-01-13T21:40:00.000-08:00

Let me see your happy-dance. You know, the one you should be proud of, that you think is silly. It is silly. But it's awesome. From 1985, off of Invasion of the Spacepeckers, here's Video Kids with La Bamba. Hey! Watch this!

Dead gringo malt liquor

2005-01-13T19:24:00.000-08:00

Dead Gringo Malt Liquor by Aztlan Nation.
Crack open a dead gringo. I used to be partial to Laser and Brickhouse me'self. More later on the drastic upsweep in violent revolutionary rhetoric.

I missed you. Am I sorry about giving you this crappy song? I don't know.

What's the deal with Rammstein?

2005-01-11T14:35:00.000-08:00

I really only have one question. Why do they have to be German? I mean they're not exactly a comedy group like the McKenzie Brothers. So what's with the jackbooted sound. It's good, but they could be from Belgium or Georgia or Portugal. But they're not. They're German. Coincidence?
Amerika Western Remix By Olson Involtini
Amerika Electro Ghetto Remix By Bushido

Rhetoricpig is dead! Long live rhetoricpig!

2005-01-10T18:47:00.000-08:00

mp3s- Louis Prima- Beep! Beep! *oink*. Two Herbalisers from The Gumball 3000- Mission Improbable and Time 2 Build, that first one's tight but the second has a better intro. Los Halos- Black Thread from Driv3r.

We here at the Rhetoricpig Institute for Remedial Socialization and Advanced Deepness (RIRSAD) feel it incumbent upon us to bring to light things lurking just below the surface of our shining and blithe mp3 sphere. I have a couple horns to toot other than my own.

First, you know Vinyl Mine. Then you know the vinyl miner is serious about his music. But *psshaw* that's not why we're here, anyways it's usually too serious for my ADHD ass. But didja know he was an equally serious aspiring gourmand. That means he likes to eat and smoke and drink. He has a neglected little blog called Drinking and Eating. Example: his last post was a paen to squeezable sour cream and had a pic of his breakfast. I thought it looked excessive, and I'm the rhetoricpig! Visit, salivate, love, repeat.

That community service announcement accomplished let's move on.

Music Forest is, to my eye, our only nearly all Japanese-language neighbor here at the blog rolls. There is some very strategic English to be found, mp3 names and genre. Genres are, in order, electronica, rock, jazz, and a bit of pop. I go for the electronica. I stay for the quality and the utter lack of context that I engender from the surroundings. That and the brief attempt to change the webtemplate to something that celebrated winter or the boy's festival or something else Japanese and conservative. Did I mention the quality? Aphex Twin's Pikachu Muthafucka and Homer's Donut Odyssey were quite a treat. It's a music forest, don't take an axe, take a basket.

Like, oh my God!

2005-01-09T21:42:00.000-08:00

Rhetoricpig hates slam poetry, but absolutely loves this piece. From Sage Francis' Sickly Business here's Killing Muslims w/ George McKibbens. If you don't like, tell us why.

Bacon or chocolate? Zero Response Survey #2.

2005-01-09T15:29:00.000-08:00

I am cheap and/or poor. Please visit Cabaret Chocolates, order some dark chocolate diamonds, and let my cheap ass know if they are as delicious as they look. Oh, and I hope you enjoy this old Masters of Reality tune, The Eyes of Texas. ZRS question- What is the tastiest, bacon or chocolate? That pic is not Cabaret.

Let me make your day.

2005-01-09T14:34:00.000-08:00

Black Betty by Spider Bait. This song makes me want to lay down in the middle of the dance floor, yawn, stretch, and scratch my ass. And then get my size 13 hillbilly feet in the air and through the floor.

HEY! You dirty commie mp3ers.

2005-01-08T23:54:00.000-08:00

I got a real manly, American song you should listen to. Listen to it hard, comrade. Merle Haggard- Fightin' Side of Me
I bet you can't wait to get your grubby red paws on my cheese.

Move over, baby.

2005-01-07T20:56:00.000-08:00

How's that delicious-looking pie?

America taught me how to kidnap and torture cats. Exit the stargate.

That's my favorite line from Non Phixion's Black Helicopters. And off the Driv3r videogame soundtrack, here's Teddybears STHLM backing up rhetoricpig asking you nicely to, "Move Over."

The Devil is beautiful. That's why he's the Devil. The mullahs say that music will stupefy you, and make you ripe for the Devil. They've got a point.

That too is off the Driv3r disc. Ripe For The Devil by Okuniev. I'm runnin' out in the rain to rent that 'ish. See, I rented it before, and it sucked round things. Gamewise, it was... jenky. But I heard nothing. See when I play games, which I am oft to do till my arthritic hands curl up like the pincers they've become, when I play the sound is minimal and I am usually listening to some horrid talk/rhetoric program or, in the rare times I'm calm enough, music.

Queer eye for the straight girl.

2005-01-06T19:52:00.000-08:00

Am I missing something? No rhetoric, I'm scared I'll offend somebody.

Here take these parasites off my hands. Summer of '69 by JJ Fad and Supersonic by Bryan Adams. And here's the sound of my pre-pubescent vision of a 'real' woman.

I'm a big believer in the Frida Kahlo school of too much information. So here goes.

2005-01-05T18:27:00.000-08:00

My butt sweats alot. And it isn't even big and fleshy. Four from The Cars. Good Times Roll, Shake It Up, My Best Friend's Girl, and Magic. So how'd I do with the sharing? Pretty good, ay? :)

I despise mayonnaise.

2005-01-05T18:21:00.000-08:00

muffaletta

Sh!t, I almost forgot about this post.
Tiger Rag (Hold That Tiger)- Stephane Grappelli and David Grisman
Go here to give them your money.
Here's 25 types of sandwiches.

1. Ham and swiss
2. Salami
3. Chicken salad
4. Tuna salad
5. Egg salad
6. Bologna and cheez
7. Liverwurst
8. Fried egg
9. Peanut butter and jelly
10. Turkey
11. Pastrami
12. Corned Beef
13. Roast Beef
14. Pepperoni, mmmm
15. Cheese
17. Cheesesteak
18. Barbecue beef
19. Pulled pork
20. Poor boy
21. Deviled ham
22. Peanut butter and banana
23. Fried bologna
24. Bacon, lettuce, and tomato
25. Muffaletta

My new year's resolution is to save somebody's life. So here goes.

2005-01-05T16:53:00.000-08:00

Don't Try Suicide by Queen. You have so much to live for. Please leave a comment if you decide not to kill yourself.

No comment, delicate flower.

2005-01-05T01:03:00.000-08:00

Zakir Hussain and the Rhythm Experience- Lineage.

I must punish you.

2005-01-04T21:02:00.000-08:00

If there's one thing rhetoricpig can't handle, besides leaving the house, it's positive attention and praise. So here is an absolutely wretched, wretched song. Time Zone (World Destruction Mix) by Time Zone featuring Afrika Bambataa and John Lydon. Even the title sucks in so many ways. Nominees for worse lyrics can be left in the Zero Response comment box. But my pain is my problem, no matter how much I try to share it. Blog? And as such... love. Here is love. By Musiq, that's actually the greek letter 'mu' followed by 'siq', by Mu-siq we have Lunatic Harness off the same titled lp.
This hurt me more than it hurt you. And here's some reversespeech, Cause I Love You.

We love Italo disco! Uhm, actually...

2005-01-04T18:25:00.000-08:00

Here's How Old R U off of Master Blaster's We Love Italo Disco. I like to think about the dirtiness this upbeat ditty entails. *piggy smile* Kinda like this Drifter's tune, Under The Boardwalk. I always figgered that a rendezvous under the boardwalk would be hurried and sandy and could suffer from a lack of lubrication.

Old time religion PT. 2.

2005-01-03T18:51:00.000-08:00

Angela Bofill-Can't Slow Down, from Let Me Be The One '84. Cage and Copywrite- Weather Report from Big Fam Remixes. DJ Q-Bert- Hawaii Scratch Training Session off of Rise: The Story Of Rave Outlaw Disco Donnie.

912 years ago, I mean 913 years ago, me and you are standing in the Eagle's Nest, it's in the Persian mountains, up high. I'm me, rhetoricpig, and you're the emmisary of the current Persian potentate. Who by the way is the leader of the largest army ever. In my ever grandiloquent way I say, "Yo, look over there, you see my guard guarding at that cliff, turret thing? Well, check this out!" Rhetoricpig, me, raises his palm as if to wave, clenches all his fingers save the pointer which is left aimed at the lighest of blue skies. In a seemingly noncoincidental yet fantastic event, yonder guard suddenly transforms into a white-robed cartoon anvil plunging towards the ground. Having not actually transformed into anything with the compression strength of iron, just being a guy that jumped off a cliff, he reaches the deep and distant solid ground with the expected terminal and wet results. No one was pushed. But you are afraid. I continue to speak, "Your king wants me to... I have seventy thousand men and women and children ready to do the same for me, or better yet take somebody with them, and your king wants me to bow to him. Tell your king I'd rather see him bow to me. Go. Go, and every time you speak, thank me, rhetoricpig, that you still have a tongue in your mouth."

Okay, so that is a bit melodramatic. And no it wasn't rhetoricpig or a distant piggy ancestor, rather it was Hasan al Sabah, The Old Man of the Mountains, the leader of the Assassins, the famed Hashishims. And the story is lifted with liberty from Akron Daraul's A History of Secret Societies. But how the Old Man got such allegiance is by far the more interesting story.

Old time religion.

2005-01-02T21:27:00.000-08:00

First, get the skeleton of a child. Affix it to a pole. Cover or replace the head with an animal head. Carry it around with you for the next eight years until another clan steals it. Tell stories about your fearsome and ferocious god.
F*ck Da World - Raptile. I am... crazy... help me... f*ck the world. Wodka and Bacardi by Sido, Fler, and B-Tight, off of Aggro Ansage Nr. 4. It's not in English.

A mash-up of Denise Williams and Environments Soundscapes, The Ocean. Let's Hear It For The Buoy. Sike, ha ha ha.

2005-01-02T15:31:00.000-08:00

Rhetoricpig definitely does know how loaded one would have to be to fully appreciate this song. Ain't No Party (Like An Alcoholic Party) by DJ Kicken VS. MC Q. But given the right conditions, rhetoricpig feels that this would be sweeping the floor with your ass, ball-busting fun. Oh magic eightblog, will rhetoricpig ever again be so loaded? 'OUTCOME DOUBTFUL'. I don't believe it! And I'm gonna do something about it!

That pic reminds me. Rhetoricpig recommends reading Tim Lebbon's novel, The Nature Of Balance. In it's own way it is quite nasty.

Hello, how are we all doing? Hey. Hello. What's up Joe? Hey guy, how they hanging? Hey foxy. Lookin' good. Wha's up? Put'er there. Yo. Hey ladies.

2005-01-01T17:46:00.000-08:00

I am currently fixated on this 42 second song, from Mountain Music of Kentucky Smithsonian/Folkways '96, Martha Hall- Young and Tender Ladies.

Come all you young and tender ladies
Be careful how you court young men
They're like a star of a summer morning
They first appear and then they're gone
If I'd've known before I courted
That love had been such a killin' thing
I'd have locked my heart
In a box of golden
And fastened it down
With a silver chain

Enjoy. And damned if I know what's up with the link,if it fails to load press reload and it'll work for some reason.

We've got good news and bad news. And inappropriate music.

2004-12-31T19:35:00.000-08:00

Shizuo VS. Shizor- Sexual High and New Kick
Good news is that the wart on my foot seems to be gone. Thank god. Me? A wart!? Bad news is that 400,000 deaths is not improbable as the immediate effect of the tsunami. I mean it adds up when you have islands full of people disappear. Here's just two, Meulaboh had ~150,000 people on it, and Pulau Simeuleu had ~76,000 people. And if you think to yourself '76,000 brown people', then you may need to have a little self-reflection time. Here'sa article. And here's video after video of the tsunami.
It may suprise dear reader to find that piggy spends as little time as possible with this particular subject.
The research above was gathered by an outside non-pork firm.

Please don't leave rhetoricpig for the morbidity's sake, if you need to (and I can definitely understand if you do) just take some time off and tune in, in say, a week. I'm sure it'll all've blown over by then.

And please, DO NOT, send me videos of people getting run over crossing the street. Be they pizza men, with boxes, or with umbrellas. NO.

Rock and roll superhero? Buckethead....raaaaaaaaah!

2004-12-31T01:39:00.000-08:00

I was younger, how can you deny the attraction of a man wearing a chicken bucket on his head, and whom never takes off his halloween hockey mask. What does the future portend. Let me shake my magic eightblog. It says Lobotomizer (the scariest rollercoaster ever) by Bucketheadland. Hrmm, more confusion.
This post is completely truncated from it's original form. But it's original form made rhetoricpig uncomfortable. Let me share just a bit.

Oh f*ck! F*ck you! F*ck me! Neither of us come here for the reinforcement of archetypes, manly, sensitive, or otherwise.

*oink*

This would have been a much better selection for my last post.

2004-12-30T21:42:00.000-08:00

Are You Afraid To Die by Red Allen and Frank Wakefield off of Acoustic Disc's The Kitchen Tapes from their Acoustic Archive Series. Here's the site.

Short but, oh so sweet. Now that it's over I think this post needs an advisory warning. * Warning*

2004-12-30T21:21:00.000-08:00

Crying Heart Blues by Red Allen and Frank Wakefield off of Acoustic Disc's The Kitchen Tapes from their Acoustic Archive Series. Here's the site.

My post's title calls for me to say nothing, but...

What can ya' say about 120,000+ dead? Nothing, that's what. Death calls on all, be they hip or not. What is there? Try to live without too much fear of death? And hope the actual dying part doesn't take too long?

I should've stuck with f%cking nothing. Nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing.

I don't know about you, but I personally was real busy trying not to be crazy, anxious, angry, or depressed before these deaths of biblical proportions. .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... .......... That's one hundred and twenty periods. The adult human body holds about 5 litres of blood. Averaging half that for the third children, we get an average of 4 litres of blood per body. That's about one aught six gallons. A cubic meter holds a thousand litres. 120,000 people, that's about 2,520 fifty-gallon drums of blood. That's like if every one of your CDs became a giant barrel of blood.

I apologize for this post. I hope I released something rather than ignited something.

It's been havin' sex with the world for a long time.

2004-12-29T19:14:00.000-08:00

The Blues Had A Baby- Brownie McGhee

That's #1 off Blues Is Truth. I gave ya seven through nine and the rest'll come. I saw a nice Brownie on the counter at Keep The Coffee Coming. And let me tell ya, I just beamed with respectability to be in such company.

Don't worry this is a fast-fading evanescence which shines from within. Sh!t, that's wordy and a downer.

Hillary Rodham Jacko?

2004-12-29T18:02:00.000-08:00

White Boys (Can't Control It)-Boy George and Culture Club

So my friend. Yes, I have one friend. So my friend says that my recent news round-up was leaning left. I know, I know, I worried about such as I wrote it. Gawdam, this white boy can't control it!
I thought all the conservatives wanted was to be left alone. But here in the states they've been dancing around like coked-up elves, saying crazy, loud sh!t and throwing their doughy weight around in a most injudicious manner. But don't you worry your pretty little head anymore, dear reader. Rhetoricpig will have 'what for' to give to the whiny and self-important, role-playing left.
So Michael Jackson continues to try to clear his name by spending as much time as possible with little children. Hmmm, good idea? Remember the TV special on Jacko. The one by Basheer(sic) that caused an uproar and was just a bit before his indictment. There was much disturbing to be found. Much. But I have a favorite that no one has mentioned. And I am still disturbed. Ay. You will remember or can imagine many camera pans of MJ's paintings and artwork. One painting was one of Bill Clinton and Michael. The composition is strange, they are very close and Michael is slightly lower. Michael looks 'different'. Michael looks... more feminine. Michael has his hair exactly like Jacqueline Onassis Kennedy, Jackie-O! AND he's wearing one of those first lady suits! Off-pink! See, dense reader, Bill Clinton and his wife Michael Jacquelson! Oh whatever. It doesn't seem that extraordinary now or worth all these valuable typed pixels.

mouth agape So I'm trawlin' around Amazon looking to spend a gift certificate...

2004-12-29T01:19:00.000-08:00

Kinky Kingdom-The Egyptian Lover

And I find an Egyptian Lover record on cd that I didn't know existed. But that is not why I'm agog. Click on this page and read the reviews submitted by the skate kids. I quote:

It is quite obvious from listening to this CD that The Egyptian Lover is adjusting to the signs of the times.

Just in case you don't know it I'll drop the bomb. The Egyptian Lover is not a contemporaneous artist. *oink oink*

Rhetoricpig's news wrap-up. Not necessarily accurate.

2004-12-28T22:55:00.000-08:00

Tool-Part Of Me
Ween-Bumb'ebee live-This is hilarious, they ar so f*cked up. So f*cked up.
The Chemical Brothers-Get Up On It Like This
Pat Benatar-Love Is A Battlefield
Michael Utley and Robert Greenridge-Reverend Wong's Walk-Check that out, Greenridge is a traditional steel drum drummer and Utley comes equipped with a host of analog drum machines.

Maybe it's a news round-up?

Here we go.

Bush threatens Syria about turning over some Bathists.
China states that Taiwan is keystone to it's national sovereignity, and will be treated as such.
Bush ups arms sales to Taiwan.
North Korea says that it retains first-strike (nuclear?) capability and rights if American troop strengths in the region continue to rise. They continue to rise.
Brussels rules that Prime Minister Sharon of Israel can be tried as a war criminal in abstensia. But not till he's out of office.
Palestinians report that an Israeli sniper purposefully assassinated a little girl as she sat at her desk at school miles away. How the eff do you deal with a straight-faced claim like that?
Bush renominates most of the higher level judicial nominees that failed to make it out of comittee in his first term.
Bush pledges first 15 then 35 million dollars for earthquake and tsunami victim aid. Not including security Bush will spend 40 million dollars on the festivities of his inauguration.
For the first time in 15 years international aid agencies place Russia in a 'NOT FREE' column.
Russian President Putin announces Russian supernuke that will make missile defense systems useless.
Bush continues to fill his disappearing cabinet with overt industry insiders.
People make a big deal about Bush taking two percent of the national yearly Social Security intake and giving it straight to Wall Street. Bush pretends this is what he campaigned on.
China and Russia sign pacts and make plans and hug.
Mongolia which is between them sends more troops to Iraq.
Nobody white cares about Iraq.
Australia has astounding national elections prior to America's. The right has big wins. The left has huge losses. But most noteably, the Far-Left has goodly sized wins.
Israel says talks are stalled as long as Palestinians demand the right of return for billions and billions of refugees.
Israel says it will dismantle settlements.
Israel builds new settlements far inside the occupied territories and names them after existing settlements proper ie. Los Angeles Two.
It's been proven, Rumsfield was lying when saying that the armor factory was taxed to the limit. No one cares.
The French do some horrible things. But on a smaller scale.
Iraqi and Afghani farmers are legally obligated to abandon heritage seeds and buy seeds from American agricultural conglomerates.
A large oil spill in SOME river SOMEWHERE inland in the Eastern U.S. gets no publicity.
A number of South and Central American countries flirt with liberal political philosophies and start to get way too uppity for their britches.
Iran says its gonna do what it wants to do, that it wants nukes and doesn't want to let US spies in to snoop around.
Colin Powell goes on his 'I'm a useless lameduck' tour of the whole entire world.
Chief Justice Antonin Scalia says he likes orgies. That's old news.
DC and Marvel sue someone because they own the word 'superhero'.
After kicking it around for a while Bush decides he has a use for a weakened but not dead United Nations.

And a bunch of other stuff just flitted out of my head.

Oh and that's a pic of Pairy. With a stick.

Okay, get your disdain ready. I like Black Sabbath with Ronnie James Dio better than with Ozzy.

2004-12-28T17:53:00.000-08:00

Of course you can except Black Sabbath's Paranoid from my discussion. Actually my thesis is crumbling around my ankles like the little stick buildings of so many Fraggles. But I am an R.J. Dio fan and given my demeanor am more apt to listen to this Sabbath tune, The Mob Rules, than to Paranoid. *big piggy oinks*

I'm in a mood. What's the gay techno mp3 blog? the following is unsuitable for minors

2004-12-28T14:10:00.000-08:00

I think this is a snappy tune. UB40 and 808 State pair up to do One In Ten.
A rhetoricpig story. Say eight or nine years ago I went to this Hollywood goth techno club. It was at a place called 7969 (I think) and the club was named Stigmata. The tvs playing hardcore porn spliced with autopsy and car crash footage were something else (not something good). But wait, this was no ordinary night at Stigmata, there was a star performer. Let me paint the picture. Out comes a guy that looked like me, tall, baggy, hat. And he wheels with him a pedestal. It's pink by the way and has a man affixed to a pole atop it. Actually the man is entirely coccooned in duct tape. Except for his mouth which contains a very uncomfortable fellating device. So the baggy guy climbs up on the pedestal. He removes from his back pocket a large pair of scissors. The baggy guy proceeds to cut the man? out of his coccoon. Man? because the genitals are hidden by the surrounding skin having been bunched together and sewn up with coarse black thread. Oookay. So the baggy guy cuts out the mouth device and they have a big wet kiss. A needle and thread appears and the star performer proceeds to bloodily sew his mouth shut. Ehngh. Then he turns around, bends deep, and proceeds to remove long strands of large black beads from his ass. Ungh. So. I'm a pussy. I got dizzy and nauseous and left.

Rhetoricpig's first Zero Response survey. What is the drink of choice of depressed effetes?

2004-12-27T20:55:00.000-08:00

Zero Response survey is pending trademark. And my vote is for red wine, merlot specifically. Effete = decadent: marked by excessive self-indulgence and moral decay. That's you.

Bionic-Andre Young(Dr. Dre), World Class Wreckin' Cru

2004-12-27T17:53:00.000-08:00

I find this song to be a bit tedious but it is a good point of departure. I always thought that vocoders and analog drum machines should stage a big comeback, I never thought they would. Tired of being batted around the head, I turn around to find this big blunt object called 'electro'. I may be mistaken and it's still dawning on me, like an ostrich egg cracking on my head in slo-mo. Did you know you can identify an lp with an analog drum track by looking for a spiral pattern made by the grooves. Tis true.

I may be biased but...

2004-12-27T16:52:00.000-08:00

This seems to rhetoricpig to be one of most obviously sampleable ditties around. But alas it has yet to come to be. Here's Bob McGrath with Why Choose To Be Afraid. As I said, I may be biased. The first and almost only beat I ever made (with just a tape deck and one turntable, for shame) starred this song.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Big hugs from the piggy.

I just can't figure out what you want.

2004-12-27T15:52:00.000-08:00

This is a trademark rhetoricpig whine about my underappreciated last post. It was serious blues with a good pic of my record in most ill-repair. Waah!

Blues is truth.

2004-12-26T20:59:00.000-08:00

Here's the first three songs off the second side of Brownie McGhee's Blues Is Truth. Mean and Evil, 'Woman, you're mean and evil, you can't sleep in a bed at night.' Wine Sporty Orty. Blues Is Truth. Can you see the writing on what's left of the backcover? It's an autograph from Brownie.

Best wishes to Amy
Brownie Mc Ghee
8-17-77

This doesn't suck though I don't know the utility of the wishes of a bluesman as legitimate as Brownie Mc Ghee. It's on Blue Labor Records which is interesting, as are a few of the names of the bandmates. We've got Bobby Foster, Louisiana Red, Sammy Price, Sugar Blue, Alex Blake, Jim Robinson, and my fave, Brian Brake.

Maybe you appreciate your family. But time with them may not be the easiest.

2004-12-26T01:17:00.000-08:00

Or maybe you don't like to listen to Christmas music. Why would you? Here's Patti Smith's Rock and Roll Niggar. I know, I know, it's played out from Natural Born Killers. But really, have you listened to it enough? If you don't think it's an impressive piece of work, let me know.

I got a digital camera for Christmas. Here's a picture I took.

2004-12-25T16:47:00.000-08:00

Mp3s later. Soon.

Well, MC Chris attests this is not an Xmas song. But what does he know about the art? He only made it.

2004-12-24T16:16:00.000-08:00

rhetoricpig truth of the day: Dissent is not a right, it is an action only TAKEN.
So all the whining is a bit dishonest, if understandable.
MC Chris-F*ckin' Up My Christmas. Hip hip hooray for that song!
People are talkin' about pitching off the shackles of the electoral college system. Naah. Have you read Warren Ellis' Transmetropolitan comic? This endearing cyber-hell precludes an absence of the electoral college. Who wins THE city wins the election. Period. While my blog brethren in the large apple may chomp at this bit, I still say nay. I just lost my oomph, so, exit stage right.

I found it. Merry Christmas and happy holidays y'all. Making new friends, good music, and all that 'ish has made this blogger happy.

2004-12-24T01:32:00.000-08:00

And hopeful. Thanks, and welcome.
In it's entirety, here is New Edition's Christmas All Over The World.
1. Give Love on Christmas Day
2. It's Christmas (All Over the World)
3. Happy Holidays to You
4. All I Want For Christmas (Is My Girl)
5. The Joy of Christmas
6. Singing Merry Christmas

New Edition's Christmas wish is that we all try to help the poor and hungry during this holiday season.
-New Edition

Yea. Or at least be nice. At least to yourselves.

I can't upload the New Edition Christmas I prepared for you. So here is a rhetoricpig computer drawing. Here is Padre Conejo.

2004-12-23T23:25:00.000-08:00

Padre Conejo translates as Father Bunny. Though there is little bunny-like about him. This upload problem is damn annoying.

The rhetoricpig request hotline provides.

2004-12-23T15:38:00.000-08:00

An eency-weency post. Only two mp3s, one real and one fake. The McKenzie Brothers sing us The Twelve Days of Christmas. And Sammy Davis Jr. sings My Love Is As A Tank. I may have another festive post if I can find my New Edition Christmas record.

Bush is just old-fashioned. REAL old-fashioned.

2004-12-23T01:33:00.000-08:00

Like the fifteenth century. So give him a break.

More fake mp3s-covers and unreleased tracks

Einsterzende Neubauten-Tijuana Taxi
The Smothers Brothers-Niggaz4life
Pink Floyd-Tuesday Is Ass-Shave Day
Catherine Zeta Jones-Superstar and Ticket To Ride
Grace Slick and Jefferson Starship-Where's My D!ck
Jimi Hendrix-How A Bill Becomes A Law
Dean Martin-Put Her In The Buck

Man, that's alot of fake tracks.

Come on, that was a good post. Please, come in. Sit down. Would you like some tea?

2004-12-22T17:18:00.000-08:00

mp3s
Charles Aznavour-Slap Your Bitch Up
Eartha Kitt-Milkshake
John Ashcroft Sings-F*ck Your Sister
Burl Ives-Trow The D
Jay-Z-Take This Hammer

Yea, sike. Go to my last post

Allow me to critique the current independent news cycle.

2004-12-22T03:02:00.000-08:00

And let me give you a digital expression of a dastardly piece of wax, The Boyz In The Hood by N.W.A.. And two actual pieces of jazz I really like, very rare. Not the pieces, that I like jazz. John Haley Sims and Harry Sweets Edison on the great Pablo label do Nature Boy and How Deep Is The Ocean. And just somethin' else. 1.6 band's Back In Church.
I had a dream. Not my normal dream where I can't breathe or walk and I'm pulling myself along the ground by my fingers. I had a dream of the farflung future, a millenia or more away. Some dudes and foxy ladies sitting around on beanbag chairs talking about their impressive classic record collections, so I jump right in and they've never heard of ANYTHING I mention, nothing, not a thing. It's like the music never existed, and more importantly, where is my dream self gonna get a copy of Nils Lofgren's No Mercy? He's not. It was not a good dream. But I'm so used to constant bad dreams, um.... There will be no post of No Mercy as my copy is the tip top peak of my 'to be replaced even by buying it' list.

Now for the journalistic critique. But first allow me to clarify a confusion about Americans, as one I will speak for them all. Americans are accused of being ignorant, malicious, and stupid. While these criticisms are understandable, none of these are the causative elements to the symptoms of Americans acting ignorant, malicious, and stupid. The cause is.....we don't care, we may be the most externally indifferent society ever, we really don't care about OTHER people, we have our government to take care of our messy stuff so we can jacuzzi. We don't care. And those we seem to care about, enemies, aren't real, but funhouse mirror foils. Just more looking at ourself. I should know, you may have noticed I have personal issues with indifference and empathy.

Now the critique. Here's the meat. Everyday the indy news media outlets are doing a very good job documenting story after story of war related brutality, of the combat type or the interrogative torture type. New pictures, (oh god new pictures, the one of the guy with one, just one, leg gnawed down to clean gleaming white tibia and femur was like a real-life zombie cartoon), new witnesses, new participants, new reports (did you know 'a weapons-free zone' is the delineation used to identify a zone where a soldier is free to do as they please with their weapon? No sh!ttin'.), all sorts of sensational nasty sh!t.

So what's the problem, that all sounds like bleeding leading gristle for the mill. The news mill. NOPE. It's all old stories. Two stories to be precise. Abu Gahraib and torture, gotcha. We're not outraged, just good listeners. And please, when you insist on elucidating on a story don't expect the same or more reaction as the first time. You know the time with all the really good pictures. Go here-Do A Lynddie-I think it's an effing riot.

Back to the news. So you were telling me about the battlefield brutality. AGAIN. Gotcha, blown up hospitals, forcing civilians into a combat zone, executions. Gotcha. Gotcha, Gawd damn I got it. I'd really like a new news item.

Do you get it? Elucidation, repetition, big neon bloody child graphics, none of it will change the fact that we don't care. We didn't care. We don't care. And we're certainly not going to care. So please let's get some new news going. Ideally somethin' about an intern.

There is one scratch on the NWA track.

And now.
Rhetoricpig's Best Book Of The Millenium Award, for the millenium between 1001 and 2000.
And the winner is......
G.K. Chesterton's The Man Who Was Thursday.
Congratulations G.

Have you heard this before? EXPLICIT LYRICS

2004-12-20T14:13:00.000-08:00

Here's some old Big E. Smalls. Groupies by Mel-O, Notorious B.I.G., and Frank White. Music House Ent.. It's dirty. If ya know the year let me know.

Oh, and the Mp3 tease I did four posts ago was side one of Pete Townshend's Empty Glass. Ya lazy busters.

I wish I lived in London, if only to have someplace to go dancing. Glitch, grime, electro, slimy old house, it's all better than what I can find in LA. I got gabbahouse, hardcore, reggae, acidjazz, trance, goa trance, ambient techno, Mexican house, bad gay techno, more jazzy house, drum circles, and the swill that passes for eighties music.

Hardcore's not that bad, if I were on different drugs. Or a decade or more younger. And if I were gay or Mexican I might feel like there were tons of venues.

I forgot the most prevalent type of club music, 'pay 40 dollars to get in and wear a shiny shirt', soulless house. I'm not sure of it's exact genre title.

Nor did you like that last post. I can see why. But that picture is something else. And the implications staggering.

2004-12-19T18:11:00.000-08:00

No mp3s 'round these parts, pardners. But watch this space for some upbeat musical offerings. That, or more explosive diarrhea.
Hmph. Well there, I could probably think of worse things to have said. Given time.
Just go.

My macro-disillusionment is nearly complete. Blue pith helmets are shooting kids in the poorest city in the Western Hemisphere.

2004-12-17T23:16:00.000-08:00

Half the width of a hair.

And populist rule in South Africa just keeps getting better and better. Hey, buddy would you like to buy a flamethrower for your car?

The Baycity Rollers-Saturday Night
2 Live Crew-Get The F_ck Out Of My House

The city is Cape Haiti, and blue helmets are the UN. The good guys. Pshh, everyone's dirty and populist organizations don't work.

I know, you're nice, and your group gets alot done.

I bet your group doesn't deal with direct violence. And populist groups that do are hoping to play on some group's desire to feel good about themselves, ie we can see a disparate reaction to Indian individualism from China (free Tibet, they're slaughtering monks) and the UK (the East Indian Tea Company doesn't run India anymore, does it?).

Or lots of money. Does your successful populist organization deal with large sums of money? What if a million dollar opportunity arose? Would your group fall apart or immediately transform into something a bit less palatable?

Please. Tell me I'm wrong.

Rhetoricdog says, "Rime a rancer."

Okay, so you didn't like that last post.

2004-12-16T22:46:00.000-08:00

My uncle sent me this from Rear Admiral Richard 'Dick' Van Orden, ret.. RHETORICPIG PUBLIC SERVICE

2004-12-16T20:20:00.000-08:00

Heh, mp3 tease. Side one of what I consider to be one of my favorite rock records ever is at the bottom.
Allow me to quote from Admiral Dick's letter:

I am happy that the sound common sense of a majority of America's voters resulted in a solid victory for a true patriot-and in the humiliating defeat of a lying TRAITOR.

Yeehaw! C'mon, I've gotta share, he sends me a number of these things.
Here it is in it's entirety. No, I do not endorse this view. And why? When are you gonna get such a nice close-up view of your sworn enemy's squirming, spitting, rosacea-covered, puffy face? Enjoy.

"Pardon Me While I Gloat" by Rear Admiral Richard "Dick" Van Orden

I am not normally a cheerful loser or a gracious winner. Whether its tiddly-winks or war at sea, I want to win, win, win! In fact, I hate to lose and when I win I sometimes want to rub the loser's nose in his defeat. After a sleepless night I feel just rotten enough that the past six months of lies and innuendos from the Kerry camp have it all come home to make me more vindictive than usual. As a result, I want to gloat.

Here's why:

I am happy that the sound common sense of a majority of America's voters resulted in a solid victory for a true patriot-and in the humiliating defeat of a lying traitor. There was no doubt in my mind that Bush's truthfulness and forthrightness would prevail against the lies and half-truths of Kerry and his supporters, and I am pleased that a majority of good folks saw the light and pushed the Bush/Cheney button for justice and for increasing support for the nation's bright future.

I am pleased that the left-leaning media-newspapers, radio, TV and newsmagazines-got their bell rung, but good. Now we are assured that these self-appointed "opinion makers" cannot pull the wool over the eyes of most of us, no matter how hard they twist the facts. Their early reporting of the "leaked" fraudulent exit polls, and their sponsorship of other badly skewed voter polls were designed to mislead voters, in which they failed-miserably. And Dan Rather deserves a special place in hell.

I am delighted that the fat, disgusting a-hole, Michael Moore did not achieve the success that he wished for and that he was repulsed by so many intelligent Americans. May his soul burn in hell.

I hope the Hollywood friends of Michael Moore-especially Barbara Streisand, Whopi Goldberg, P-Diddler, and their friends-are roasting in the hell of their own making. It seems to me that they all offered to depart the U.S if Bush won the first time, which they did not do. The time is now doubly ripe for their exit.

I am blissful that all the treasure and invective of George Soros devoted to defeating George Bush went for naught. I only wish for a financial future of similar poor decisions by Soros; I want to see him as bankrupt in bank account as he is in patriotism.

I find it particularly satisfying that the high ranking military suck-ups whose lack of integrity led them to desert their commander-in-chief and follow a lying cheat, even though they knew, or should have known, that his dismissal from the Navy was "less than honorable," as detailed in the military record that he refused to release. It is sad that such Navy types as Bill Crowe, Stan Turner, and even Jimmy Carter would be in that group. It is obvious that their motivation was the hope of a cushy job when their new-found knight in shining armor moved into the White House. Even their strategy was flawed, for Kerry is, and always has been, anti-military; he only used his military service-and those military "advisors"-for personal political gain. He would never have offered that cushy job, once he had used them, just as he never voted for the needed armament that they and their shipmates and their Marine Corps, Army, and Air Force brothers-in-arms needed so badly.

I am thrilled that the whiners, especially Robert Harris and his ilk, who have complained bitterly about the "stolen" 2000 Presidential election must leave that fallacy in the past and now try to find something else to whine about-maybe they can even develop a fantasy that the four million vote plurality was a miscount, and continue their whining as they slink away into their caves.

It pleases me that Kofi Annan and the other United Nations sycophants failed miserably when they tried so hard to influence this election to ensure that a more pliable President Kerry would be elected. I hope they will now realize that either they clean up the bureaucratic, corrupt, do-nothing UN, or they will be short of funds when the Bush-led US decreases-or ends-its support.

I am overjoyed at the failure of Osama bin Laden's carefully timed video of invective against the US and its President in hopes of using Islamic scare tactics on the American people. Bin Laden's aim was to entice our voters to elect a new President who will not be as robust in his pursuit of terrorists and more willing to "negotiate" with Islamic Fundamentalists. He did not understand that Americans are not so panicky as the French, fearful as the Spanish, or unthinking as the English. (As for the Germans, they should know better; we have defeated them in battle often enough to convince them of the rightness of our ways.) I hope Osama dies in a blast from a bunker-buster before he gets a chance to make another video or another attack on our nation.

The blatant attempts of European nations and the EU to cause our President discomfort in his efforts to bring peace to the world make me glad that they are so disappointed with the election results. My joy is unbounded at the chagrin of the French and German and other anti-Bush, anti-American nations (including the people of the UK-but not their loyal and faithful government led by Prime Minister, Tony Blair). Now let those U.S.-sheltered Europeans worry about the end of American financial and military assistance when they have problems. Let them beg for American military aid and other handouts that have helped to sustain their economies. And let them perish in their own sweat when we remove out troops from Germany, the Balkans, and other trouble spots where we have pulled their chestnuts out of the fire.

I relish the hope that Islamic fundamentalists will now understand the election result as a blow from which they cannot recover. It fills me with joy that their dreams of world domination will be shattered by Bush's and the American nation's resolve to see them defeated and sent to join their Allah-without the 72 virgins waiting for them.

It pleases me more than I can say that the Senate Minority Leader, Thomas Daschle lost his seat. As the leading obstructionist for the Democrat party, he was primarily responsible for withholding approval of many Bush appointments to Federal judgeships, high-level positions, and other necessary personnel. Good riddance.

The demise of the junk-yard dog, loudmouth James Carville, also brings me great happiness. That happiness is further enhanced by the victory of the first Republican to win a Senate seat in Louisiana, Carville's home state.

I am delighted with the success of John O'Neil and his Swift Boat Vets-and with those thousands of non-Swifties who joined with them-on their forthright revelation of the truth of Kerry's service in Vietnam. They took a truthful but difficult position and made an impact-good and honorable Navy men all. Bush gets gentlemanly credit for not using them and their data in his campaign to demean Kerry, but the word was out that they spoke the truth. I maintain that they were the MVPs of this election; their testimony turned the tide against Kerry, and he never recovered.

And, finally, I must express my unbounded gratification at the defeat of Senator Kerry, a worthless Senator, anti-military extremist, lying self-promoter, and former Naval officer who disgraced us all. His traitorous collusion with the enemy is second only to that of Jane Fonda. He should have been court-martialed for giving aid and comfort to the enemy in time of war. His dishonorable quest for medals and a quick return to the US, where he turned against his shipmates and lied about their actions resulted in a less than honorable separation from the Navy. Jimmy Carter's amnesty allowed him to file for, and get, an honorable discharge 18 years after he left the service. He should have received a court martial.

While my thoughts may seem to be mean-spirited, do not be confused-they really are mean-spirited, as I mean them to be. I have suffered the tortures of the damned over the past year as I heard and read the lies and nasty remarks from politicians, citizens, and media "experts" about our President. I have barely tolerated the feeble but divisive attempts of foreign and domestic peaceniks to build a case against our war on the Islamic fundamentalists, who use terrorism as a weapon against us in order to intimidate our citizens and drive some of our gutless politicians to seek "negotiations" to avoid "confrontations" with those who seek to kill our citizens.

Most of all, I have seethed with anger at those who shamefully derided our military, blissfully reporting on their failures and neglecting their successes. They triumphantly celebrated our difficulties by running daily body counts of our own heroic men killed in battle with the enemy, even publishing their pictures in papers and on TV as if to mock the President who sent them to defend our nation. I have only disgust for such tactics. And those are the very same people who now plead for "united actions" in the House and Senate, now that they are in a steadily declining minority. I would advise our President to "watch your six" because these are really enemies and they are not to be trusted.

Four more years! How sweet it is!

Okay....
So there's the comment button. I'd rather you yell about the piece than at me, but whatever ya' need to do.
Worth the wait and the wade through the hate.
1980 Warner Records, Pete Townshend's Empty Glass
Side one
1. Rough Boys
2. I Am An Animal
3. And I Moved
4. Let My Love Open The Door
5. Jools And Jim

You'd best love that. Side two later. Really, please leave a comment, especially if you don't adore me and my choices.
Come again.

I was not digging on W's post-election insolence.

2004-12-15T22:24:00.000-08:00

Mini rhetoric-3 seconds. Have ya' heard of the Royal Gigolos? Here's No Milk Today Guitar Mix, Happy Song, Somebody's Watching Me, Self Control, and California Dreamin'. I love sleazy music, but this Live @ Brooklyn is a bit too sweaty.
But it seems Dubya's back to normal. After the rude interaction w/ the soldiers, Rummy was asked a GREAT question by a reporter "So you've had 48 or 52 hours since those soldiers raised those supply issues, what have you done about it?" and Rummy didn't answer the question, he said somethin' like 'We need to sit him down so we can know what he thinks he knows he knows.' or some such sh!t, basically saying the guy was full of sh!t. And they ask Bush about it and he's gotten back on the ball and my man says, 'Oh yeah, we've gotten that all taken care of, it's done, it's all good.'

Sweet and sour sauce over pork fried dumplings.

2004-12-15T14:19:00.000-08:00

Rhetoricpig is fried. Here's something sweet, Baby, You Can Drive My Car by Bobby McFerrin. Here's something sour, Leave Me Alone by Speedealer. Mmmm, pork fried.